How do you feel about couples who elope?

I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon but I must admit the lure of eloping is enticing. The whole procession that one must go through just to get married these days is daunting to say the least. Securing the church, catering the reception, deciding who to ask to be the bridesmaids/groomsmen, the flowers, the photographer, deciding who to invite... it all seems TOO MUCH.





Then you factor in the cost of all of the above and... geez I hate to say it but it just seems like such a WASTE.





I know my friends and family would be disapointed if they weren't at my wedding but it is MY wedding after all. If I ever were to get married I think I would chuck it all and just elope.





Any thoughts?

How do you feel about couples who elope?
Here's what my hubby and I did... we eloped because we were so frustrated with the idea of planning the huge wedding it would take to get all our friends and relataves there... but then we also had a very nice ceremony (wedding dress, cake, reception... ect)with our close and local friends and our immediate family members. To this day only about 8 people know that we eloped, and our parents don't even know. We're gonna tell them when we have our first kid, we know they'll be suprised but they'll think it's funny too.





Eloping ahead of time took all the pressure of planning off of us. Since we'd already had our special day between the two of us i didn't care that the frosting on the cake didn't turn out the right color or that my grand parents trew a fuss and didn't come. Who cares!!
Reply:Why are you getting married at all then?





My idea is that if you elope, that's nothing better than going to the courthouse and getting it done one afternoon on a whim.





A wedding isn't about the galmour or paying money for a beautiful ceremony and reception. Truth be told, the ceremony itself only lasts a fraction of the whole day.





You have a wedding to celebrate in front of family and friends!! It's a merging of two different families with different customs and values. If you feel ashamed about hosting a large wedding, then don't. Have an informal wedding at a park or in a backyard. The impmortant thing here is to enjoy the day with your family and friends. You even said that your friends and family would be disappointed.





Although it's not about your friends, a wedding should be celebrated. In 20 years you're going to look back and regret not celebrating in anyway.





You don't have to mess with anything. There don't have to be bridesmaids. You don't even have to wear a gown!! The day is just to celebrate. It's not about the cost of things.
Reply:Eloping is fine if that is what you want. Just remember that you want to create a marriage memory that you can cherish for the rest of your life. And you will have to deal with the fallout from your families.
Reply:You should somewhat elope! Go to Vegas, or where ever it is you guys want to get married and just tell your family thats what you are doing and they are welcome to come! That way, you don't have to really plan anything, but friends and family can still attend. And don't let anyone talk you out of it!


My wedding day was great, and 100% worth everything we put into it, but it does seem a little silly! We seriously talked about eloping....
Reply:It's totally romantic to elope now adays, saves money!!


u could always have a small reception afterwards!
Reply:Honey, it IS too much. Weddings and funerals are the biggest wastes of money in the US. So damn much is poured into a wedding that the bride and groom don't even realize this is MARRIAGE, life starts right now. Have a big party for your family and friends if you must but spare yourself, family, friends and your future husband the stress and misery and elope. You can start life with no debt, no stress, no sour memories, no hurt feelings and no fights.


And when you think about it .... do you really give a rats-@ss what anyone thinks about you two eloping? It's your life.
Reply:Good idea. The whole wedding business is just a show. Go to the Justice of Peace and get married. :)
Reply:That's what we are doing.


It's your day, after all. I think eloping is very romantic. It's about you two. Share that moment and cherish it. You can also invite your close relatives and friends for a ceremony or to a dinner after the ceremony if you don't want them feel left off.





I heard a lot of brides regret the big wedding and don't remember half of it. By the end of the day they are exhausted from all the preparations and stress. Some brides go through major break downs...





The only downside of eloping is that you don't get a lot of presents.
Reply:That's what my boyfriend and I plan to do since I don't want a wedding. It's a lot cheaper and this way we can use the money that would have gone towards a wedding for a very nice vacation and down payment on a home.
Reply:I wouldn't discount the importance of, as you call it, securing the church. The rest can be dispensed with if you want, but I think adequate spiritual preparation is key.





So....get your spiritual act together, you and your guy, then elope!!
Reply:I wish I did, instead of planning this huge monstosity. If I could cancel everything and run off to Vegas I would! But too many people (incluidng a small part of me) is really looking forward to this event.
Reply:Good question!





I never considered it til this past weekend.





I've been planning a BIG wedding (350+ people) since last year, and we're not even getting married til next year.





This weekend I had a candle party and invited 25-30 people. Only 3 showed up. I lost money on food, set up, invites, etc.





What would happen if I spent 40-75 per head for this wedding for the something like that to happen?





I don't want to chance it now. I was so hurt that NONE of the people who didn't show bothered to make a 10 second call to say they couldn't make it.





I'm DONE!





We wanted to take a honeymoon cruise to Hawaii, so now I'm thinking about just getting married on the boat.
Reply:My husband and I eloped to Gatlinburg, TN, because we felt just like you. We only invited our families. We were married in a beautiful white chapel... the whole formal, Christian ceremony. They took care of everything... flowers, pictures, wedding video, decorating, and even a cake and glasses for the bride and groom. If we had it to do all over again, I'd go back to Gatlinburg. Oh yeah, it was very CHEAP!!!
Reply:If that's what you want to do. I will say this though I got married in June and did the whole "traditional" wedding...it was very stressful but well worth it. I also have a friend who took a cruise and got married (just her and the guy) on an island and when she came back we all had a huge party. It was great. It's all in what you and your fiance' want becasue it is YOUR wedding
Reply:Go for it!! I did it and I don't regret a thing! I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Reply:There is nothing wrong with eloping. If the two people truely love each other, it shouldn't matter what form they tie the knot. The only Reason for having an "Actual Wedding" is so someone can strip you of all your money.


I've actually heard of familys' who agreed that eloping is better. Planning a "Fairy Tale Wedding" brings on too much stress.