Future Sister In Law Needs More Money For Wedding?

My Fiance asked her sister and neice to be in our wedding. She said yes on the condition that we help with costs since they are on welfare. We agreed - so we booked 4 days and 3 nights in a luxury condo for them in Vegas (where we are getting married - we're in LA) offered $200 for gas for the roundtrip drive (which is more than enough), bought all dresses, flowers, nails and hair do's, planned on helping them fill the condo's kitchen for food outside of the main dinners (a rehearsal dinner and reception dinner). At this point she said $200 is not enough for gas and they expect to get dinner out - they will not fill a kitchen to make extra dinners for their family. We were told by her that if we couldnt "afford them" then they will not attend and that their terms are 'non-negotiable'. I was very insulted and want to pull them out of the wedding. It has been a rough couple of days struggling with what to do... this is my future wife's sister. What do you think?

Future Sister In Law Needs More Money For Wedding?
The arrogant, greedy hag! I think you need to establish boundaries this minute, before she thinks you are Bank of Brother-in Law. Anyone who would try to take more than you have already offered is really a gold-digger.
Reply:Well if I was in your position I'd probably pull them out of the wedding, but its a pretty big deal to have your sister in your wedding. Most people would be happy getting the help they've been given. It is supposed to be an honour to be asked to be in a wedding, especially your sisters. Say to them that they either have the very genorours help you've given...and that's all...or don't come to the wedding at all.
Reply:you and your future wife need to decide together how to handle it. If she's not willing to accept what you're offering to do, well, there is no law that says she has to be in the wedding.





If your fiance agrees that they can skip the wedding, tell them that you don't accept her conditions, and your offer still stands, and let it be her choice and her "bad"..





Best wishes to you. Congratulations.
Reply:I hope I can be honest with you and say that your future sister in law has a welfare mentality; what is keeping her from working? she's looking for a hand out in every aspect of her life on her family's expense. She's shelfish. you all have other expenses to worry about too...I would talk to your fiance and tell her it's time to draw a line...the last thing you want is you and your fiance' having differences over her irresponsible sister.
Reply:you fiancee needs to speak with her. You should not be involved in money talks with his family. She doesn't need more money you have been more than accommodating. You have offered way more than I would for my own sister! I think that she is trying to bleed every penny out of you because she knows that this is your important day and that you will bend for her attendance. Stand your ground and Tell her to take it up with her brother!
Reply:Forget about them. They are looking for something extra and they are not worth the time you have to spare. If you call them and let them know what you have to spend, they just may agree and tell you that this will be fine. Stand your ground and set your limitations, that will be the only way you can deal with this type of people. I wish you the best.
Reply:My suggestion is forget her. She obviously doesn't care enough to try to do anythin for you guys. If she wanted to be there she would have asked for all the stuff you guys offered and left it at that. 200 for gas is plenty. I would tell her your not the state your not supporting them, you are helping them.
Reply:Hell, I will stand in for the ungrateful sister-in-law!!! She is outrageous to make such demands/terms!!! I would be happy for whatever you could do for me. You would think if she is on welfare, then she would be appreciative of the vacation. Besides, I thought you were just suppose to "help" with the costs not cover EVERYTHING. She should use some of her assistance to help out. What a B****!
Reply:Very rude and ungrateful of her. I would personally tell her to forget it! You have been way more generous than most people would including me. I know this is your fiance's sister but it is evident that she does not care enough about her sister so why should she be there.
Reply:There are cheaper places to stay in Vega. And dinners in the hotel buffets are likely cheaper than filling a luxury condo with food.





I am glad you resolved this, but, ya know? I'd have put my foot down. Don't let these money hungry jerks manipulate you any more, after this.
Reply:Tell them to GET STUFFED! They are just greedy and stingy pigs. Don't help them anymore. Tell them you don't want them in your wedding. They are just milking you for all your worth. You have been more than generous and have given them much more than they deserve. DON'T HAVE THEM IN YOUR WEDDING, does not matter who they are!
Reply:Tell them to forget the whole thing, and the deal is off. The way they are acting is because of what they have learned on welfare. Tell them this is a wedding, not a wefare hand-out.
Reply:holy cow, that is terrible behavior. their terms???? YOU are the one w/ terms because you are paying! i would pull them out. you are being SO SO SO generous. what does your future wife have to say? no questions asked, they're gone.
Reply:Let the greedy sister stay home!!! And tell her to get her asss off of welfare and get a damn job and stop eating out all the time!!
Reply:I think the in-law is being very ungrateful. I would yank her. You give her all that and she still wants more? Sounds like a real taker. She makes a good welfare candidate.
Reply:Your fiancee gets to break this to her sister. I say good riddance.
Reply:Wow. I'd probably just give her a punch of the face. That's incredible. I applaud your patience and your grace and composure dealing with the world's most insulting ungrateful and insensitive brat. It is YOUR BIG DAY. You should call the shots. Doesnt she understand that you've got a full iteniary and a list of other things to be concerned about other than how she's getting her bum over there?


SHe's a LOSER. I hope someday, someone will do the same at her wedding. Who knows? maybe noone will attend hers! I've never heard of such a thing. Where i come from, people give money as tokens for the wedding couple. Not the other way around.
Reply:I agree with everything that has been said about how they are taking advantage fo you. I am concerned with how your future wife is reacting to this. Does she think you should give them whatever they want? If I were you, I would go along with whatever she wants, but, if she wants to give them the extra money, I would let her know that this will be the LAST TIME. I am scared you may be getting yourself into a financial mess if your wife wants you to support them once you get married. BTW, if she is on welfare, she gets foodstamps, so she CAN pay for her own food!
Reply:So let me get this... They are not paying a dime to be there for her sisters wedding, and they are demanding more money from you and holding their presence hostage?


Did they miss the part where you will HELP pay for costs, not pay for everything including a luxury holiday for them?


Tell them "Sorry, thats all we can afford, we will miss you on the wedding day". At this point I would not want them there at all!


That also frees up the condo for other guests who would probably be willing to pay you back for it.


Their loss, not yours!
Reply:I would try and be as calm, polite, and diplomatic as possible.





Yes, it is your wife's family, and you want to keep the peace. But you need to talk with her about it.





This is YOUR wedding. If anyone should be making "non-negotiable" terms, its YOU! This isn't an all-expenses paid vacation, this is your special day! I can't even begin to imagine behaving in such a horrid manner. Let your wife know exactly how you feel. How did she react to such demands? Talk it out, and have her talk to the sister. She's just taking advantage of your generosity.
Reply:That's really tough. On the one hand, you only have one family, and you want to keep things good with the family. On the other hand, you can see they are being very petty. Very petty. It's fair of them to ask (politely) for your financial help, but they are giving you ultimatums. Try to think longer term. What ever you do, don't get in the middle. Let your fiance deal with HER family, and you deal with yours. That way, if there is any long term resentment, it won't be your fault.





My gut feeling is that your future sister-in-law isn't a nice person, which is really too bad. Ask your fiance what she wants to do about it, then respect her decision. I would feel the same way you do, that I wouldn't want them at the wedding. Tough call! In the end, money doesn't really matter, you're going to get a bunch of wedding money, and if your wife is close to her sister, it's better to have them at the wedding and it won't be a bone of contention between you and your future wife.





Weddings bring out the best and worst in people, but mostly the worst. Speaking of pettiness, I never even got a wedding present from my father. You're in for a rough ride, this is just the beginning...
Reply:this is a sticky situation. and getting married means not only to your wife, but to her family and all the stupid games they play. i know its supposed to be the happiest time of your life, but dont over-extend yourself. talk to your wife about it, your probably going to end up spending alot of money on her sister , but hey the wife will be extra happy...not a bad way to start off a marriage. suck it up, pay for the ungrateful moocher, then after everything blows over, tell your wife how insulted you felt and you probably wont have to deal with the sister for awhile and you wife will respect you for doing something nice for her that you really didnt wanna do in the 1st place.
Reply:This doesn't sound like they need more money for the wedding - it sounds like they'd like more cash for other things. My bet is they'd pocket any extra they'd get. Just my intuition. The only way it would cost more than $200 for gas is if they're driving an SUV using premium gas for the LA %26gt; LV %26gt; LA drive, and frankly they don't need to eat out. They're looking the gift horse in the mouth.





Tell them that you're sorry that they won't be able to come to the wedding but you've compromised all that you possibly can on this front. Let them know that if they change their minds that they have until [date that the condo can be cancelled by] to let you know. Otherwise you know they will be with you in spirit.
Reply:I'd explain that if they choose not to accept your offer (as you had it originally) that you and your wife to be would be dissappointed, but that you understand.





You should be as diplomatic about it as you can. This is your wedding, and while you're being over and above generous with this woman, she is clearly trying to take advantage of you. However, she is going to be part of your family. If you put the decision on HER to not come then you are making her the bad guy. If she says that she could come if you only gave her another $200, just say that you can't afford any more than what you offered her. And that if her parents want to give her the money, then she should talk to them about it. You are offering her money so she can come, but that you can't afford to finance a luxury vacation for her and her family. You have your own costs for the wedding right?





Good luck.
Reply:I had family come from all over the province we live in and the one I grew up in and we did not pay their way. I think if ther person realy want to be apart of the wedding then they make it happen. It is not your fault that your fiances sister is on welfare if they can not afford to come then they can stay at home you have been more then generous this lady is taking you and her sister for a ride.





You are more then understanding I would have told them to stay at home that the amount of money you have already spent to have them come is more then enough.





I guess you resolved it personally my way of resolving would have been to tell them to stay at home.
Reply:Well depending on where they are coming from and what kind of car they drive $200 may not be enough for gas. That aside they sound very greedy. If you have done all the other stuff for them then they should put in something. If your wife to be really wants them there then you may have trouble. Personally I would tell them that you can't afford the extras they are asking for and you will have to put them up in an economy motel instead of the luxury condo to be able to help them out with more money for gas and food. It would only be 1 extra dinner that they would have to make for themselves and I think they sound selfish.
Reply:This sister is no good and a negative person. Any person that are a negative influence on you or your family should be dropped ASAP. Negative people have a way of bringing the people around them down. Don't let this happen. Now is the time to establish bounds for this sister and family. You and your fiance should talk and get on the same page with how to deal with her sister and, once you have a united front, you two will be a very strong and successful couple.
Reply:I think they are soaking you for all they can get outta you...which has been a very generous amount so far infact you've gone way beyond what is nessesary.





Tell them no....the Bank is closed. You are not required to pay for them dinning out every night they are there or gas money to go gallavanting about..just what is needed for them to attend the wedding.





Do they stock their kitchen at home? What is the difference then......Do they cook at home? This is your wedding and you are doing what needs to be done so they can be part of it, not fund a vacation for them...........you are not a financial bottomless pit. You are a brother-in-law. Enough is enough. Good Luck.
Reply:What!! No way, let them do this and you will be paying crap for them for days. Every time there is a function they will throw out a guilt trip so you will fund things for them. NO WAY, you are already supporting them because they are on welfare. What nerve. Thank gosh I am not the bride to be, there would be some drama up in that camp. My sister in law will not come visit unless she "gets a ride" becasuse gas is too much for her BRAND NEW Ford Expedition.....and she lives in Section 8 housing! I know exactly how they are and I feel for you. Do not let her walk all over you with the pathetic guilt trips. Their financial situation is their own doing, not yours. You have been more tan cordial, much more than most people would be.
Reply:I say beggars can't be choosers. Honestly, if she was really that bad off, she would accept your offer and not demand to eat out every night. Who do they think they are, saying their terms are non-negotiable. Sure they are. Either they accept your terms or they're not in the wedding. If your future wife is game for it, I would have her sit down and talk to the sister. Her sister is a guest/participant in the wedding. If she knew she was going to make outrageous demands, she shouldn't have agreed to partake in it.
Reply:I think you are being unreasonable. You KNOW they are on welfare, and your wedding is in Vegas?





It's expensive out there. If you're paying that much for them to come, what's another 200-300 dollars?