Proper etiquette wedding expenses?

I'm getting married in March. The expenses are adding up. I'm 39 years old %26amp; have never been married before. My father is paying for food,drinks,band %26amp; the hall for the reception. Should I ask for more help with flowers, photogragher etc. or not?

Proper etiquette wedding expenses?
Sounds like it's time to get creative! I did not have a photographer at my reception. Instead I placed those little disposable cameras at each table and asked the guests to take pictures. I got some really good shots. Some that the photographer probably wouldn't have gotten! I bought them on e-bay for a great price.
Reply:your dad is already paying for a lot....food, band, hall...those are the biggest costs.



if you end up with a big bill for yourself, you are going overboard...keep things simple...you'll end up with fewer bills and fewer things to stress about.



good luck.
Reply:If your 39, you should have a half way decent income yourself. Today's weddings, they don't do alot of flowers at the church, just for the one's in the wedding party. Take that money and put it to some other use ..life the photo's. You'll always have those. Your parents are footing pretty much the whole thing here. Good Luck
Reply:Well, traditional etiquette dictates that the groom's family pays for the flowers, the officiant, and the rehearsal dinner. However, since you're getting married at such a late age, I'm not sure such "rules" still apply. Can your fiance's family help at all? If not, you may need to scale back some things. It looks like your dad is taking on quite a bit of the expense already.
Reply:Ideally, you should have decided on a budget before your planning began, and you should have stuck to that budget. But since that didn't happen, sit down and explain your situation to your parents. Or if you can afford to make a contribution, do so.
Reply:Uh, you are a grown woman, and supposedly marrying a mature man, no? You should be paying for your own wedding! AY Yay YAY!
Reply:Since you are an older bride, you could mention the added expenses to your father but I would not flat out ask him for anymore financial help. You and your husband technically are responsible for the cost of the wedding.



Ask about payment plans or consider taking out a loan.
Reply:you are 39. Take responsibiltiy and pay for your own wedding. your father may be living on a fixed income. Don't you have a full time job? Have some respect for you father.
Reply:Tara, if you were 23 I'd say yes. But at 39 you should be paying for everything yourself. You and your fiance are most likely already set- up in houses/apartments, how much help do you really need? What you don't need is a $20,000 wedding, unless of course you can pay for it yourselves. Give the old man a break, I think he's paying for a lot. The food and reception hall is the bulk of it. If money is a real concern, use less or artificial flowers and don't go for the $5000 wedding photo package. Cut corners and try to do a lot of things yourself. But unless your father is "daddy warbucks" then I say, no, don't ask for more.
Reply:You're 39 years old! You should have some savings in the bank by now.
Reply:WOW, your dad is paying for the bulk of your expenses. I married at 39 also, and my husband and I paid for our own wedding, and there are alot of ways you can trim expenses and still have a beatiful wedding. I would not burden your father with anymore expenses. Wedding photgraphers are very overpriced, you know someone that is handy with a digital camera that may be willing to take pictures for you? Also, flowers do not need to be expensive either, you can hand tie your own bouquets with ribbon, or go with smaller nosegay bouquests from a local florist.

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