Who gave speeches at your wedding, or other weddings you've attended?

We're having a pretty small wedding party - just MOH and best man. No other maids or men, no flower girl, no ring bearer.



I've heard that the best man and MOH normally give a speech at the reception. But I was thinking that since most of our relatives don't know our best man and MOH, I wouldn't make them speak in front of 75 strangers, and instead, my fiance and/or I would just say "Thanks for coming, you all mean a lot to us, etc.". But would they be disappointed if I asked them not to speak, or suggested that they don't give a speech? I'm not sure if they would be expecting to speak. And should we have someone else speak instead, maybe our parents? I have no idea who all normally speaks at the reception.



Thanks!

Who gave speeches at your wedding, or other weddings you've attended?
if the person marrying you is coming to the reception, they can give a welcome message before dinner. you can give the BM %26amp; MOH the option of giving a speech but make it clear it's totally optional and won't look weird if one does it and not the other. or you and the groom can just welcome everyone and not give the BM %26amp; MOH the option
Reply:Traditionally, the BM and MOH are required to give speeches. But in all honesty, you can do whatever you want. It is YOUR wedding, and nobody will go to jail if you don't follow some invisible rule book. This is one thing that I learned planning my own wedding. Do what you want, and do it with pride (as long as it's not offensive to your guests).



You could have your Emcee say a few words, then both of you could have a short toast to thank the guests for coming. Keep it short and sweet, and your guests will thank you. Most guests prefer less speaking time and more dining and dancing anyway. Ditto for the BM and MOH, who may be nervous about giving a speech in the first place.



If they insist they want to, you could have them come up and say a few words for a quick toast. Or have them come up *with* you to the mic as you do your bride and groom toast.



Nowadays, anything goes. Welcome to the family toasts (which can be done by your parents), whole wedding party speeches, or no speeches.



It's really up to you.



I did not want any speeches other than my Emcee, by my now husband insisted. We ended up with:



- 2 welcome to the family speeches (my aunt and his sisters)

-Our BM, MOH, and my Man of Honor

-A toast to the bride from the groom



We kept our toasts/speeches *very* short, and overall it worked out well.



Good luck!
Reply:usually the MOH and BM give a speech. The MOH gives one about the bride and the BM gives one about the groom, obviously. Of course I've been to weddings where the Father's gave speeches. It really just depends on what you want. I've been to weddings where no one gave speeches. I was the MOH at my best friends wedding last July and she didn't have anyone do a speech. Talk to your MOH and his BM beforehand and make sure that they feel comfortable with public speaking.
Reply:At weddings I have attended in the past, no one has given speeches, regardless of the size of the guestlist or the wedding party. No one missed them either.



At my aunt's wedding, my grandpa was stressed out because he was trying to prepare a speech and then when the time came, everything was just so laidback and chaotic that a speech wouldn't have fit anywhere.
Reply:For our wedding program, my oldest sister gave a toast to the bride and groom, all-in-one! My husband and I replied, each giving our thank yous - in our case, he spoke in Ukrainian and me in English, so that worked well.

My husband's brother, who was one of the priests who officiated at the ceremony, also said a few words, as did one of the other priests.

Sometimes, yes, couples have the MOH and best man each give a toast. Often the father of the bride would speak as well.

It's nice to plan to have at least one person give a toast to the couple, and for you and your husband to say a thank you - or at least the two of you stand up together, and one of you speak.
Reply:The best man gave his speech, then my husband got up and thanked everyone for coming (we paid for the wedding ourselves, so we were the hosts), and then I got up and read a quote that I liked and thanked everyone also. That was it.



I've been to weddings where every single person in the bridal party stood up and said something, which is really fun for the friends of the couple, and maybe close relatives, but it's soooooooooo boring to everyone else.



I like your idea--keep it simple.
Reply:bridal party, best man, groom/bride/mohonor, some family
Reply:Please, NO speeches. Speeches are long. Typically, a few people offer toasts (very short--no more than two minutes). These are often offered by the father of the bride, and the best man, with the groom thanking everyone for coming and sharing in the joy. It seems to have become popular lately for the MoH to also give a toast. Keep the toasts to a small number of people, and ask people to keep them short. If you're not sure if the MoH or BM would be insulted if not asked to give a toast, then just ask them. I'm sure you must be close if they're in that role, so just ask if they want to give a toast, letting them know that you're okay with it if they don't.
Reply:You should allow anyone to speak because sometimes it's a sweet surprise and touching kind words to say. I had 2 weddings. My father-in-law got up and spoke. Then my husband's grandfather who lives in Russia came to our 2nd wedding and gave a beautiful speech in Russian, so my husband translated for everyone. I think that's when my sister finally realized that my husband was from Russia...like the country. hehehe!
Reply:The best man

Maid of honor

Father of the Bride
Reply:At our wedding we had The Best Man, Maid of Honor, His Father, My Father , The Emcee (which was my brother) and Us. You can have whoever you want though, really. The MOH and BM don't have to speak , that is totally up to you.
Reply:IT'S YOUR WEDDING, DO WHAT YOU WANT!
Reply:The BM normally speaks, but he speaks on behalf of the BMs and MOH. Although all rules can be broken. I have been to weddings where nobody spoke, where the BM is 11yrs old, and someone else spoke for him...



At our wedding, my dad will speak, the best man, my fiance and ME! We each have people we want to thank, and I want to thank mine personally; not through my fiance. Anyone else who fancies speaking will also have their chance.
Reply:We kept it short and sweet. The only speeches we had were from the MOH and Best Man and my husband said some quick words of thanks, etc.



I've been to some weddings where everyone in the bridal party wants to say stuff. And then the parents usually say stuff too (or at least the Father of the Bride). You can have whomever you want speak, but from a guest's perspective, we prefer the fewer the better, the shorter the better. Have your speechmakers keep it to no more than 2 minutes or your guests will be bored to tears.
Reply:The traditions are complicated and I have received so much conflicting information, so this is what we are doing:



1. My dad is giving a quick "welcome" speach at the start of dinner

2. Best man is giving a speach

3. One of my best friend is saying a few words (my MOH is terrified of speaking in public, so I spared her the pain)

4. My "husband" will stand and thank everyone for coming on our behalf at the end of dinner, and to start the party!



I simply asked my MOH and the Best man if they wanted to give speaches and then respected their wishes. The one piece of advise I CAN give, is don't over do the speach thing. I have been to weddings where there are people standing and saying things through the whole dinner and it gets too monotonous and boring. Keep it simple, and it will be perfect.