What to do-- Oh What to do...?

So, we originally planned to get married on 08-08-2008. Great day huh! Well, he wants my parents to pay for this great big formal wedding and I don't think its necessary. We don't ahve the money (I have a toddler that I raise on my own) and he doesn't have much of a savings. (I know I know)



My parents are willing to give around 3,000. Here is our breakdown right now

My Dress 350

Alterations 50

Flowers for Bouquets, centerpieces, church: 600

Bridesmaisd gifts 50

Photographer 600

Cake 300

RECEPTION 20.00/person (limited to 100 people)

Invitations 300

and NO honeymoon



But I really want a honeymoon. So I came up with the idea that we elope and go on a honeymoon and come back and have an informal party. My parents are willing to pay for the trip and have my grandparents and his parents pay for the dinner at the party. It wld cost about 2500.00 total. None of the frou frou just whats important, Me Him our closets friends and family.



THis idea also helps include more people

What to do-- Oh What to do...?
Try this compromise:

cheap wedding reception venue, like a private club or organization's party room, could get it for free if a member, or really reduced price. It will be air conditioned, you could have an August wedding.

Nice but inexpensive food, pick one dish like mosstoccoli and salad and bread sticks. Or go appetizers, or small sandwiches. Or even several cold salads[it will be August] and a selection of crackers. Roll in a keg or two, and have something for the nondrinkers. Way less than $20/person.

Do your own centerpieces, try the dollar stores and craft stores for idea and bargains.

Get a cake from the grocery instead of the bakery. Or do cupcakes, even cheaper, and stylish now. Use paper table coverings, they sell rolls of paper cheap.

Then do a three day honeymoon to a romantic spot not far away. There are lots of great scenic spots in my area, with romantic rooms, for not a lot, the highest in the area is $300 a night, for a themed room [like a jungle room] in a hotel, but there are some cabins [think ski resort] near for around a hundred.

I know you would like the romance, but I am afraid someday you might regret not having a wedding and reception.

Gee, a groom that wants a wedding, a rare find, I do not know him or you, but I would take him up on that idea!

Find a cheaper invitations, nowdays the green ecology tree hugger people would love that you did not use the old formal invites with multiple layers of paper..

Consider dumping the photographer for your own pictures, or find someone in the family that does photography.

There is a huge difference in flower prices in our community, the florist a mile from my house would do a nice 12" high arrangement suitable for a birthday for $40, you could not touch a few carnations in a cheap vase for that at another across town. Shop around, and downsize a little, but even I would not skimp on the bouquets for the bridal party, or corsages for honored guests.

Congrats, hope you both get what you want.
Reply:Thanks, voter! Rivers Report It
Reply:I think the only expenses should be what's important to you. Why does he not want to contribute?
Reply:call a travel agent about the honeymoon. tell them your budget and what you are looking for. They can find something within your budget. Also, often you can book last minute and get really cheap deals on cruises. mexico and jamaica is pretty cheap. We are getting a beachfront all inclusive resort room in jamaica for uner 3,000 includes round trip airfare. We went through a travel agent and it really took the guess work out of it. You could also drive somewhere together. I dont know where you live but down south are tons of romantic historic plantations that are bed and breakfasts, the midwest has bed and breakfast/wineries. So, you are bound to find something wonderful, good luck
Reply:While it is traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding, modern times(and our present economy) dictate that that no longer holds true. If your fiance wants a big formal wedding, and your parents cannot afford a big formal wedding, then he better find a way to come up with some big formal wedding money himself! He simply cannot expect your parents to bankrupt themselves to appease his vanity. Remember, it's the marriage that matters, not the wedding.
Reply:Hi and congratulations!



Well, he is being stubborn. It's very unusual, to me at least, that he wants this big wedding....and he wants YOUR parents to pay for it!! Ummm.....no.



I agree with the wedding/honeymoon and then a party when you return.



None of us on here can help you. He is being stubborn. This is something the two of you will need to work out.



One thing about your outdoor BBQ or pig roast. It sounds like a great idea to me.....but more than 100 people? Where will this be.....in someone's backyard? Three things to think about: (1) bathrooms!.....(2) parking.....(3) the rentals that you will need....tables and chairs, etc.
Reply:The ceremony won't cost a lot if it's outside. If you have it in the evening, say, right before dark, it won't be as hot. And all you'll have to pay for is chairs to rent. Use candles from the dollar store to set the mood. If it's almost dark, no one will see flowers anyways if you get them. Then you can have the ceremony and honeymoon. No need to spend a lot on the ceremony part. There's not much to it.