Should we elope?

Our wedding is 10 months out, but we just are so ready to marry. (We are waiting til marriage to have sex so we are also anxious PHYSICALLY, although this isn't all.) Our engagement will be 14 months by the time we marry, and we will have been dating almost 5 years. My parents are very controlling and have objected to EVERYTHING we propose. We thought that everything would calm down, but it has only gotten worse. My bridesmaids and his groomsmen were picked for us. The reception has turned into a very very very high dollar affair that my parents wanted much more than us. My mom over rules all of my ideas and I just can't seem to be right around her. My fiance and I can't help but to feel like this is not what we wanted out of our wedding. We wanted to get married this summer and have a wedding focused on the vows we say to eachother and our love and committment to eachother, not about flowers and the big party afterward.



I love my family, but I don't know how much we can take.

Should we elope?
Take back control of your wedding plans. Don't "propose" things for your wedding, tell them this is the way it is to be. Let them know that what they are planning is not what the two of you want. Let them know that if they don't stop planning this big hugh affair, you will elope and they won't be there to see the two of you get married! I know if my child said that to me, I'd stop in my tracks. Being there would be more important to me than anything else.



I hope I rememeber this advice when my son decides to get married. LOL ;)
Reply:tell them what you want and tell them NOW.

if they wont or dont want to listen then yes do it your way.

you can always have another ceremony for THEM later.
Reply:last time i heard, you are the ones getting married not your parents. there are two things to consider here...



1) they are your parents so you shut up and just follow them and get the marriage over with so you can get on with your married lives. To minimize the trouble that might come up.



2) you stand up for yourselves and tell your parents (nicely of course) that you appreciate what they are doing, but you should have a say in YOUR wedding. Beware of violent reactions from your parents though. it could get nasty.



3) eloping is a very dumb thing to do. nobody is objecting to your marriage. so why the need to elope? your problems are your control freak parents. and it will possibly cause 100x more trouble than #2
Reply:well I just want to remind you... it's not the wedding that makes the marriage... So do what makes you happy... and have a happy Marriage
Reply:I know that having contolling parents is very difficult for many.

But I sit here thinking about this and keep asking myself the same question over and over. WHY? Why have YOU allowed this to happen? Have YOU not told your parents that this is not what you want? If YOU are not able to stand up tp your parents, then what makes you think that you are ready for marriage and all the highs and lows that come with it? Sorry to play devil's advocate but think about it. I also want to say that my hope in our youth is getting restored every time I hear of people like you both that are waiting til marriage. I wish you both much luck and true happiness. Don't forget, stick up for what you want.



Oh and please don't elope. By doing that, it would be more on the lines of throwing a temper tantrum and prove to your parents that you are incapable of making such a big decision. Time to take responsibility and control into your own hands.
Reply:Oh boy...this is such a familiar refrain. Remember this....this is YOUR wedding, not your parents. Do things the way YOU TWO want them done. If that's naked on a beach in the Bahamas..then it's YOUR wedding! Don't 'talk' to your parents, TELL them enough is enough. Sure they will be disappointed, (maybe even angry) but seriously, you want to remember this for the rest of your life FONDLY! You won't be able to if you've had no say in it. They will get over it eventually, and if not, sorry, but you have a new family to love as much as you love them.
Reply:I never wanted a wedding. I never really saw the big deal of having them. They are a waste of money if you ask me.



By the sounds of it, you feel the same as I do as in, you want your wedding day to focus on the vows, not the 'party.' I always said 'I want attention from my man, not everyone else.'



My husband was completely shocked after we got engaged. He was like all about having a wedding, and said it would never fly with his family us not having a wedding. Well, we were married at the courthouse by a judge, HAHAHAHA.



And it was still great!!! And it was special because it was private....but his parents still would like to have a ceremony, so I guess we are doing something at a later time. But I have no interest in planning it.



I would say, go ahead, get married, do what YOU want. And then let your family have their celebration. If this wedding isn't really all about you (which is how it seems by what you are saying) then let them have their party, but you do what you want as well!!!



Good luck and Congratulations!!!!!!
Reply:Tell them to back off. It's your big day, not theirs. Even if they are paying for the wedding, tell them that this doesn't entitle them to assume control and that you will do it another way if you have to.
Reply:You two are adults... why are you letting your parents control your lives. If you want to be married then go get married! There is no reason to wait if you don't want to. It is YOUR wedding and it can be anything you want it to be.



If it's a big ceremony or just a "quickie" wedding it can be special if you make it so. Do what you please and stop letting everyone else control you guys. It's time to start your family together.

sidi way rain boots