Scottish Joke.?

Two Glasgow lads, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.

'Ach, it's all going magic,' says Jock. 'I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...'

Archie nods approvingly.

'Hell, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jock.

'A kilt?' exclaims Archie, 'That's grand, you'll look pure smart in that! And what's the tartan?'

'Ach,' says Jock, 'I'd imagine she'll be in white.'

Scottish Joke.?
uh here is a riddle. your locked in a room forever and all that you have is a bed and a calender. how do you eat and drink?





you drink from the "springs" in the bed and eat the "dates" on the calender.
Reply:The doctor says,"John, your wife had triplets." John says, "I'm not surprised, I've got a d*ck like a chimney." The doctor says "Well you better clean it, because they're all black."



lmao =))