Two Jokes, one Scottish?

Two Glaswegians, Erchie and Jimmy are sitting at the bar discussing Jimmys forthcomming wedding,

" Och, it's all going pure dead brilliant " says Jimmy " An i've got everything organised awready, the flowers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the meenister, Even ma stag night.

I've even bought a kilt tae be merried in" continues Jimmy.

" A kilt?, exlaims Erchie, that's braw, you'll look pure smairt in that"

"An whits the tartin" Erchie enquires.

"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white"



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Young Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her Mother

"Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before her Mother could raise concern, Sally went on to say "It reminded me of a peanut"

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mother asks "Really small was it "

Sally replied

"No....salty!"

Two Jokes, one Scottish?
Hahahahaha loved the jokes but the second one was the best,i will be laughing at that all night now..lol
Reply:second one is funnier
Reply:PML - Thought your first joke was bloody excellent - and I'm a Weegie! Second one was good too! Ta for the giggle - Star!!
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:like the 2nd one
Reply:Thats pure dead brilliant! Huv a wee dram fur me son!
Reply:The first one's OK, but the second one is funny.
Reply:omg expecked better from a Scot
Reply:Yep you see thats why I dont like peanuts to salty.
Reply:Ha ha funny...
Reply:both jokes made me laugh ha ha
Reply:HAHAHA